I know how you feel.
Really.
Just don't have a clue of how to get better.
Seems like it never gets better.
One thing after another.
7 years ago I lost my job.
I needed that job to pay the mortgage and feed the horses.
On top of that, my right shoulder was messed up and I was in constant pain.
We had a $2800/month house payment.
It took at least $600/month to feed the ponies.
Do the math: $3400 a month before the utilities just to survive.
I quit making house payments because I thought being fed was more important.
I eventually had surgery but the clock was ticking.
Had to get out of the house pronto.
We moved what we could into our motor home and camped out on a piece of land
we own in Arizona for a month.
That was so humbling.
This was the most stressful period in my life!
I wanted to cry all the time. I didn't feel good.
I worried about the horses I eventually gave away. I tried not to think about them as at least they were getting fed.
After a while, I made the mental shift to just accept I cannot do anything about the past. I was to look forward from then on.
My husband needed me as he was getting worse as dementia was really setting in. Front and center.
What I came to realize was that when I made up my mind to quit agonizing over the past, that my health and mental being got better.
My story may touch you. I hope so
What I want you to get from this is that whatever you are dealing with now can be made better if you are able to make the mental shift as I did.
Will you be healed completely? I don't know.
Even though it is in your face, look past it and imagine how it could be without it. Dwell on that. Become that new being in you mind. And most importantly, BREATHE! On purpose and deliberately. Breathe as you say “I am better than that!”
Peace dear friend!
-Kimberly.
